Sunday, July 29, 2007
I make peace with it every day. It looks scary and wrong. It is not the cute lovey that is so easy to love. It is his own exploration of power and strength, life and death. It is his raw real self that is so easy to love when I see that it is always still my lovey there, behind that harmless water pistol.
He tells me, "Mama, I love you even when I play fight. I love you even when I pretend kill."
Friday, July 27, 2007
*reflect on the trip Bowie and I just courageously and insanely made. We flew to LA to visit with friends and photographers who became friends. We drove through San Francisco, the redwood forest, along the Oregon coast to Eugene for the Oregon County Fair. And had to give up on a camping trip with friends due to utter and total exhaustion and homesickness. So finished with a few days in lovely Portland. I'm tired again just writing it. But it was an adventure. We did it with more grace than less, I hope. Bowie amazed me. I amazed myself. By the end my patience and creativity were worn thin. What a test! But worth doing. Just wish Chris had been with us. Or we hadn't been gone so long. More reflecting to do...
*reflect on the first day of school for Bowie. We went for Bowie's first visit to the little Waldorf school he will start at soon. A couple of nights before Chris and I couldn't sleep with all of our questions and worries...first day of school jitters. Chris wondered if they'd let him paint himself. I wondered how his love of weaponry and play fighting would show itself. And although it will only be 7 hours a week, a couple of afternoons, we wondered how this would fit into our "unschooling" lifestyle. Well, Bowie loved his visit. Stayed for the entire afternoon. I still have many questions. But whether he will enjoy it, I have few doubts.
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Bowie and I went on a crazy mama/son vacation for 2 weeks to the west coast and returned mid week. Just beginning to recover. I slept until 11 today. Last night was Bowie's first full night's sleep since we left home. He hugged and said, "I love you Papa" constantly for the first hour they were together. I didn't get to be photographer as much as I had hoped. Being Mama all the time was hard. I am lucky that I am able to rely so much on Chris usually. But I had to be it all. We am amazed and proud that we did it and we'll do it again, but not 2 weeks! More to come, but I need to go sit on the couch with my boys.